Sunday, October 30, 2005

hmm short post

hmm not gona write any details cuz im feeling v cold right now.. just wana go and get in my blanket :)
we went to taraweehs tonight.. it was nice in the beginning.. i liked those newly wed girls hehe.. but just after a few taraweehs.. everybody started socializing.. except this really old auntie.. in the end we were the only ppl praying. lol
but still i liked it.. better than those parties with aunties n girls dressed to kill! hehe
oh well i better go
im feeling a bit sad.. dad is in hospital..well cuz his sugar was high n he is gona start taking insulin and for that they have to keep him under observation!
if any of u read my blog.. pls make dua 4 him
i really miss him.. he has done so much for all of us.. wish i could do sumthing for him too.. but what?
i dunno :(
oh well.. last night a uni friend came online and i saw her online after ages.. she asked me if im alrite n then she told me that she saw me crying in her dream. oh well i duno :S
i said i'll keep it short :p i better go now
oh i got an email from a v good friend.. they said that they dont want to keep any contact with me.. for sum good reasons.. so i dont blame them.
u meet so many ppl in ue life but a few u remember.. always
they are one of them.
anyway i dont wana think about it. not now anyway
so gona block it from my mind
i better go

Friday, October 28, 2005

hmm i wish u loved me enough!

ok im so bored right now.. n i cant sleep :s
as a friend left a msg that the poem i pasted before wasnt good enough.. i have started reading more poems.. hehe
good time pass :)

oh n for some reason i like reading depressing poems.. lol they make me cry n i still like to read them :s

I wish you--loved me enough--
To hold me--when my life gets too tough--
To kiss me--to kiss away each tear.

I wish you--would love me all night--
Carry me--when I forget how to fight--
Hold me--and erase all of my fears.

I wish you--could smile down on me--
And somehow--set this hurt spirit free--
Mend it--heal the tear that's torn it apart.

Oh yes I wish you--loved me enough--
To hold me--when my life gets too tough--
To love me--and soothe this old heart--of mine.


i actually liked this poem.. anyway i was invited to an iftar party today.. was really v boring.. i didnt like the food at all.. and they were very modern ppl.. not my type at all... was kinda show off as well!
anyway they are my SILS in laws.. so my SILS SIL was giving tea to everybody n when she was pouring the tea in the tea cups.. i was thinking what if it fell on me.. anyway it didnt fall.. she started drinking her tea.. and after a min i duno what happened that it fell on me and her as well.. well it was hot but not v hot.. after 2 mins i started feeling VERYYYYYYYY cold.. i was shivering! we stayed there for almost FOUR hrs!!
khair its over now alhamdulillah!
oh n i met my chat friend the other day.. she came to see our hostel. it was nice meeting her :) she said that she didnt find any difference in me lol. "oh ure the same momi i chat with on msn" lol :) it was funny the way she said it.. i mean i AM the same momi :p hehe
that makes me miss naj! omg we met after 7 yrs of knowing each other online! hehe and she said the same thing "momi tum to bilkul waisee ho!" lol i miss her.. i miss the chats we used to have.. n then she got married.. n now shes busy with her lil daughter! time flies!!! i remember we were just lil girls when we started chatting! n now we are married hehe
we had so many dreams..well she had so many dreams.. but then some dreams stay dreams
sum wishes stay wishes.. that used to b our nick! hehhe now we know what it means :p
oh god its 1 am! and im writing this boring blog!
not sleepy tonight.. not at all
but i guess i should try n sleep
i hardly see my old chat friends online now
im missing my friends

Friday, October 21, 2005


"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

i like this statement :)
love u build till the end? hehe
so true!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

n ramadan started :)

oh well.. today was the 1st day of ramadan.... my husband made me watch this really scary video of a woman who was overcome by a jinn.. i can still hear her voice.. anyway it was last night n i wasnt able to sleep properly.. n then woke up early for sehri..
it was v different from what i am used to.. in lahore we all sit together and then we watch sehris transmission together.. we sit there for atleast an hr or so.. n talk about stuff n all... and then same thing happens in iftari as well.. i really missed it :S
i really missed my parents and rest of my family.. i cried once again while talking to my mom...
im not saying that im not happy here or anything.. but its just that i miss my family a lot.. especially now a days.. i cant think of celebrating eid without them.. its gona b so difficult for me this time :S
oh well...
the day passed... it was fine.. just that as i talk continiously at school.. i was VERY thirsty :S i came back from school and then i slept :p hehe
its getting cold now.. :)
if you live with ure parents then ure v lucky.. just treat them nice :) as they love u more than any1 could.. and show ur love to them.. express it! dont hesistate!
i miss my mother the most.. and yes i miss my sis and my nephew a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n when i was talking to my sister in law.. she also started crying :( n started telling me how they talked about me at sehri and aftari time. i miss her so much.. n i miss my brothers..
i just talked with my lil bro.. and he was so mad at me.. n asked me why dont i come there! ahhhh
anyway enough of this blabbling.. im gona go n watch another scary clip :)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Muslim Women

How a Pearl Develops: A Khutbah for Muslim Women

When news of the Christian army that had prepared on the horizons to wipe out Islam reached him, Abu Qudaamah Ash-Shaamee moved quickly to the Mimbar of the Masjid. In a powerful and emotional speech, Abu Qudaamah ignited the desire of the community to defend their land, Jihad for the sake of Allah. As he left the Masjid, walking down a dark and secluded alley, a women stopped him and said, "As salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaah!" Abu Qudaamah stopped and did not answer. She repeated her salam again, adding "this is not how pious people should act." She stepped forward from the shadows. "I heard you in the Masjid encouraging the believers to go for Jihad and all I have is this…" She handed him two long braids. "It can be used for a horse rein. Perhaps Allah may write me as one of those who went for Jihaad."

The next day as that Muslim village set out to confront the crusader army, a young boy ran through the gathering and stood at the hooves of Abu Qudaamah's horse. "I ask you by Allah to allow me to join the army." Some of the elder fighters laughed at the boy. "The horses will trample you," they said. But Abu Qudaamah looked down into his eyes as he asked again, "I ask you by Allah, let me join." Abu Qudaamah then said, "On one condition, if you are killed you will take me with you to Jannah amongst those you will be allowed to intercede for." That young boy smiled. "It's a promise."

When the two armies met and the fighting intensified, the young boy on the back of Abu Qudaamah's horse asked, "I ask you by Allah to give me 3 arrows." "You'll lose them!" The boy repeated, "I ask you by Allah to give me them." Abu Qudaamah gave him the arrows and the boy took aim. "Bismillaah!" The arrow flew and killed a Roman. "Bismillaah!" The second arrow flew, killing a second Roman. "Bismillaah!" The third arrow flew, killing a third Roman. An arrow then struck the boy in the chest - knocking him off the horse. Abu Qudaamah jumped down to his side, reminding the boy in his final breaths, "Don't forget the promise!" The boy reached into his pocket, extracted a pouch and said, "Please return this to my mother." "Who's your mother?" asked Abu Qudaamah. "The women that gave you the braids yesterday."

Think about this Muslimah. How did she reach this level of Taqwa where she would sacrifice her hair when today other women do the same to die so long as their son stayed home. Indeed, she spent her life in the obedience of Allah, and when exam time came, she passed. Not only did she pass herself, but her children shone with that same beauty of Iman, children that she herself raised.

Very often - and perhaps in our times when we have forgotten much of the Sunnah - the lectures, khutbahs, and talks are all directed to the Muslim men. We forget that from the Hady – guidance and way – of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - was that he would allocate a specific day of the week to teach the women. Women would come up to him in Hajj, in the street, even in his home and ask him questions about the Deen. At the Eid Salah, after addressing the men, he would take
Bilal and go to the women section and address the women. Allah revealed an entire Surah by the name of Surah An-Nisa – the Women. And another by the name of – Maryam. And a third by the name of al Mujaadalah – the women who pleads. It is in enlivening this Sunnah that today this speech shall be addressed to the believing women, al-Mu'minaat.

Dear Sister, Dear Mother, Dear Daughter. Everyone is looking for happiness and fun, and I am sure you are not excluded. Where is that happiness and fun though? And where and when do you want that happiness? Do you want happiness, do you want to have `fun' in this life at the expense of the hereafter? Or is it in the hereafter, when you meet Allah that you want to be happy?

Every where you go you shall find a swarm of people and media and culture swearing to you that happiness is the happiness of the Dunya. Is it really happiness though? On the day of Repayment, Allah shall take the most `happiest' kafir of the Dunya and dip him in Jahannam – Hellfire. Then he shall ask him, "Have you ever seen any happiness?" The Kafir will say, "Never!"

Nay, the happiness is only the happiness of the hereafter no matter what happens in this Dunya. Allah shall bring on the Day of Repayment the most tested human and dip him in Jannah – Paradise. He shall then ask him, "Have you ever seen sadness?" And that person shall say, "Never!"

And don't think that this happiness and fun is exclusive to the hereafter. It is very much tied to this life as well. Listen and understand the words of Allah:

Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter). – Surah AnNahl (16/97)

Dear Sister, you have to understand that you or anyone may enter Hellfire! By Allah, we are not better than Fatimah, the daughter of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam. And he said to her, "O
Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, Ask me whatever you wish from my wealth, for I shall avail you nothing to Allah." Meaning that it doesn't matter if you're my daughter, if you don't work for Jannah, saying to Allah that my father is so and so will not help you in anyway.

Islam is filled with many Mu'minahs that completed their Taqwa of Allah. When the other girls put up posters of kafir singers and kafir athletes and kafir actresses, you should put up posters in your heart
of Fatimah and many other Mu'minahs.

Aasiyah, the wife of Fir'own. Her Eeman in Allah thrived under the shadow of someone that said, "I am your Lord, Most High!" When news reached Fir'own of his wife's Eeman he beat her and commanded his guards to beat her. They took her out in the scalding noon heat, tied
her hands and feet and beat her perpetually. Who did she turn to? She turned to Allah! She prayed, "My lord, build for me a home with you in Paradise and save me from Fir'own and his deeds and save me from the transgressive people."

It was narrated that when she said this, the sky opened for her and she saw her home in Paradise. She smiled. The guards watched astonished - she's being tortured and she smiles? Frustrated, Fir'own commanded a boulder to be brought and dropped on Aasiyah, to crush her to death. But Allah took her soul before the boulder was brought and she became an example for all the believing men and women till the end of time:

[And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe: the wife of Fir'own (Pharaoh) – when she said, "My Lord, Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'own and his deeds, and save me from the transgressive-disbelieving people.] -Tahreem 66/11

When we talk about Jihad and Shuhadaa' - martyrs, do you know who the first Muslim in Islam to be killed in the path of Allah was? It was Summayah, the mother of Ammar. When Abu Jahl heard of her Islam and her husband Yaasir and her son Ammar, he whipped them all and beat them. So much so, that Rasul Allah would pass by them as they went through this test of their Iman and would say to them, "Be patient O Jannah!"

As Abu Jahl beat Sumayyah one day, she refused to recant her Deen, something that enraged Abu Jahl. He took a spear as she lay on the burning sand, looking up to the sky, and he speared her through her midsection. She was the first of her family and the entire Ummah to meet Allah as a Martyr.

Dear Sister, our role models come from the Quran. You may have heard the story of the boy and the king. When the entire village became Muslim by the death of that young boy, the king ordered that an enormous fire be kindled and that all those who would not recant their
religion be burnt alive. A Mu'minah, stood with her baby over the fire. She looked at her baby, and seeking her child's weakness and innocence, she considered turning her back. The baby said to her,
"What are you waiting for mother. Go forward for you are on the truth!" She nodded. Then with her baby in hand she was pushed to her death.

[And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise!- * Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And
Allah is Witness to all things.].- Surah AlBuruj, 8,9

And dear sister, your role models come to you from today. As her son tells us, a senior women in a Muslim land decided that all the vanity that normally happens in the gatherings of women was not for her. She turned to Salah and praying at night, and in her old age, she found herself calling to her son one night from her prayer room. He son says, "I came in and she was in Sajda saying that she was paralysed!" Her son took her to the doctors and she began a cycle of rehabilitation, but there was little hope. She then commanded her son to take her back home, take her back to her prayer room, take her back to that Sajdah. As she prayed to Allah in her sajdah, the night came when she called to her son. "Astawdi'ukallaah alladhee laa yadee'u wa daa'i'uh – I leave you in the trust of Allah, and whenever something is left in Allah's trust it is never lost." She passed away in her sajdah. Her muscles froze in that position and so they had to wash her body as she was in Sajdah. They prayed Janazah for her as her body was in sajdah. The carried her to the grave yard as her body was in Sajdah. The buried her as she was in Sajdah. And the Prophet said that we shall all be resurrected on what we died on, she shall be resurrected on the day of judgement in Sajdah to Allah – Jalla Jalaaluhu wa taqaddasat asmaa'uhu - because that it how she lived and died.

Monday, October 03, 2005

mama's phone

ok as i said i'll write about my mom's phone so here i am..
i was looking for a scarf from my cupboard when my mother in law told me that i have a phone call.. usually my mom calls me on my cell.. so i wasnt expecting it to b her call.. i picked up the phone n my mom was like where have u been? i have been trying to call u but u dont pick thephone up.. is everything ok? and i said well i have been waiting 4 ur call.. well its all mobilinks hardly connects now a days.. anyway after asking me how i was doing.. she asked me "are u coming to lahore for eid?" and i said "no, i cant" and then she was silent.. after sumtime i heard her crying.. i felt so bad.. and then the way she said "i really miss u a lot maryam" (in urdu).. it really made me cry.. thank god i was alone in the room at that time..
i realised that i really miss my family.. especially my mom.. she has always been so helping and caring.. we just dont realise it.. well women do... cuz we have to leave our parents home after marriage (usually)... and the bond bw a mother and a daughter is always very strong.

anyway enough of that..
i went out for dinner with my hubby today.. it was nice.. i just started eating when my cell rang.. i picked it up and i thought it was my uncle.. well it was my brother in law :p i miss my sis too..had a small chat with my sis :) it was nice.. i miss my nephew soooooooooo much! whenever i talk to him on the phone he says "momi aala where have u gone? pls come back" it makes me cry!
uff im being so nostalgic :p

life of a woman.. hmm before marriage and after marriage! ah different ppl in her life (if its out of family)...
its really difficult for a woman... two families! hehe.. she cant choose one :p as both are very dear to her.
oh well i'll talk about it later.. i must go now and sleep :)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

silent observer

oh god.. the weird thing is that i cant see my blogs.. i duno if others can :)
a weird thing happened yesterday.. i opened my email just to check this persons blogs address and guess what they came online at that very time.. it was scary.. well not scary.. i was happy to see them..
from the past few days i have been wondering that how were they doing? and i was thinking that they really cared for me.. i guess nobody really cared for me that much ever. i duno if it would have been the same if we met in real life. hehe dont know.. just thinking about stupid stuff.. but the bad thing was i got dc and then i had to leave.
anyway i just pray that they stay happy :)
oh i was suppose to spend the night alone in my room :p n i was really scared.. but i thought that i'll give it a try.. actually i get scary dreams sumtimes and i hate sleeping alone..khair i thought this time im gona do that.. n guess what i wasnt able to c if i could sleep alone or not cuz i wasnt alone. hehe
i know im acting like a 5 yr old girl! its just that ive been always afraid of this thing.. ive always been sleeping alone :s
well.. not always...
after my sisters wedding! n then i became a scaredy cat :D
hehe bad bad i know but we gota do sumthing about that! but duno what? i cant sleep if its complete dark! i need sum light.. but not direct light u know.. cuz then i cant sleep if its going in my eyes :p hehehheheh im weird
i know!!!
but what to do about it?
and what to do about my blogs? i cant see them!
and what to do about missing my best buddy???
i miss her soooooooooooooooo MUCH!!
n hmm what to do about my mom?
she called me day before yesterday and she started crying.. well i'll write the details in my next blog!
gtg now.

if any of u can see the blog then do comment.. cuz i cant n i duno if any1 else can!

preparation for ramadan?

oh well.. once again i entered the channel in the middle of a fight.. same old issue.. shia/suni..
anyway.. i asked them what have they prepared for ramadan.. and a bro showed me a site.. and i read sumthing v nice there..
Harken! O you who was not content to sin throughout Rajab.

His rebellion against his Lord had to continue the duration of Sha’ban.

The month of fasting has now come to shade and shelter you,

Do not transform it also into a month of sinning.

Recite the Qur’an and glorify [God], with diligent assertion.

Indeed! It is a month for glorification and the Qur’an.

Deny your bodily appetites, seeking your soul’s salvation.

Eventually, the earth will consume the body.

How many deceased people have you known who fasted?

Amongst your family, neighbors, and brothers.

Death has erased them, leaving you behind.

Get serious [about your religion], for the living are quite close to the dead!

You take delight in the ‘Eid outfits being cut out now for the festival.

But soon they will be your burial shrouds.

How long will the person be happy with his worldly home?

Knowing that his ultimate home is the grave.

ah! plsss if u read this post.. do pray for me..and i hope we make full use of this blessed month.. aameen.